“Add It Up”
by Violent Femmes
from the album Violent Femmes
1983
Buy the album on Amazon

I wasn’t sure what to post today, and then, no lie, all three versions that I have of this song came up in a row on shuffle on the way home, so I’d better post it or the universe is going to have me get hit by a bus tomorrow or something. How have I not posted any Femmes yet? I love #KaraokeTuesday and #CoverFriday, but Lance is right that we need some other day for everything else (and yes, next month I will try to post another monthly theme, though even that may not be open-ended enough).

When we start posting albums I’ll talk more about this album in general, which is the definition of a perfect album (and a perfect debut album), and go into how I first got into them, but for now I’ll just post this song. I remember when I first busted this out with my N karaoke crew. Certainly not everyone knew it, but the ones who did, my people, got it right away, and this is why I love them. They even backed up the chorus at the appropriate times near the end. Contrast that to when I first sang this with my updated work group that I switched to in NY. I put this in, the song started, I started singing acapella (as required), and they started talking about how something was wrong and the music wasn’t working. I had karaoke-rage towards them (a particular kind of rage which I seem to posses only at karaoke). This was the litmus test. These were not my people (though to be fair, we shared some other karaoke moments).

With strangers, this song is certainly not a guaranteed crowd pleaser, but still so fun to sing. It’s long. It’s got quiet parts and loud belting parts. I can pretty much sing the entire thing without looking at the screen because I worked so hard during high school to memorize it. And I’ll also admit that it’s is fun to sing because it’s a bit naughty. I always feel slightly self-conscious singing lyrics with cursing in them at karaoke. I curse like a sailor in my personal life, but I’m generally sensitive to the fact that some people may be offended by that, so this song feels slightly subversive to sing (e.g. “nothing I can say when I’m in your thighs…” Ahem.).

I remember my first girlfriend in college in Savannah had particular gestures she would use when singing this song, like the pointed finger gun during “don’t shoot, shoot, shoot that thing at me” which used to drive me a bit crazy (in a bad way) as I thought they were ridiculous, but now I can’t hear the song without picturing the same gestures (and sometimes doing them, if only in my head).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7y9yChV478

Day after day, I will walk and I will play
But the day after today, I will stop and I will start

Why can’t I get just one kiss?
Why can’t I get just one kiss?
There may be some things that I wouldn’t miss
But I look at your pants and I need a kiss

Why can’t I get just one screw?
Why can’t I get just one screw?
Believe me, I know what to do
But something won’t let me make love to you

Why can’t I get just one fuck?
Why can’t I get just one fuck?
I guess it’s got something to do with luck
But I waited my whole life for just one…

Day after day, I get angry and I will say
That the day is in my sight
When I’ll take a bow and say goodnight

Oh, ma-mama, mama-mo-ma-mum
Have you kept your eye, your eye on your son?
I know you’ve had problems, you’re not the only one
When your sugar left, he left you on the run

Oh, ma-mama, mama-mo-ma-mum
Take a look now at what your boy has done
He’s walking around like he’s number one
Went downtown and you got him a gun

So don’t shoot, shoot, shoot that thing at me
Don’t shoot, shoot, shoot that thing at me
You know you’ve got my sympathy
But don’t shoot, shoot, shoot that thing at me

So don’t shoot, shoot, shoot that thing at me
Don’t shoot, shoot, shoot that thing at me
You know you’ve got my sympathy
But don’t shoot, shoot, shoot that thing at me

Broken down kitchen at the top of the stairs
Can I mix in with your affairs?
Share a smoke, make a joke
Grasp and reach for a leg of hope

Words to memorize, words hypnotize
Words make my mouth exercise
Words all failed the magic prize
Nothing I can say when I’m in your thighs

Oh, ma-mama, mo-ma, mo-ma mother
I would love to love you, lover
City is restless, it’s ready to pounce
Here in your bedroom, ounce for ounce

Oh, ma-mama, mo-ma, mo-ma mother
I would love to love you, lover
City is restless, it’s ready to pounce
Here in your bedroom, ounce for ounce

I’ve given you a decision to make
Things to lose, things to take
Just as she’s about ready to cut it up
She says, “Wait a minute, honey, I’m gonna add it up!”
Add it up! Add it up! Add it up!

Day after day, I get angry and I will say
That the day is in my sight
When I’ll take a bow and say goodnight